You want a photo with me? Really! I mean, I thought I recognised you from somewhere before, but then I realised that we’ve never actually met. Don’t worry, it’s an easy mistake to make. Really it is, I do it all the time when I’m not wearing my glasses.

wanci island

Oh, you mean that you don’t know me, but you still want to take a photo of us together? Look, I don’t mean to be rude or anything, but I’ve never met you before right? And although I did just happen to catch your eye when I realised you had been staring at me for the last five minutes, I’m pretty sure I’ll never see you again. You still want a photo of me though? Well ok. I don’t want to seem like an ignorant tourist and just one photo can’t hurt can it?

hoga island

Well that was easy… Another photo and this time with you and your five mates hugging the strange white man you’ve never met before. They’ve each got there own camera as well? Right, look guys, you’ve taken three pictures of me already.Really, you guys all know each other, so you can share one photo between you. Unless that is you can tell me exactly what you are going to do with these photos of me everyone keeps asking me?

nirwana beach buton

Random strangers have asked to take photos with me from the mountains of Peru to the beaches of Cambodia. Honestly, I just want to know what the hell you guys are doing with these photos. Do you go home and show your family: look, this is the random white guy we confused today. He looks like a right prat… Or do you make up this whole backstory for me: you know Paul, the friend I’m always talking to you lot about? Well here he is, he’s not just imaginary…

Whatever! Next time I go back to England and see a confused tourist wondering around on the street I know exactly what I’m going to do…