If my current adventure follows the plot of a Disney film, then in less than one week, a gold medal will be placed round my neck and I will be sharing the $50,000 prize money for the 2013 Palembang Dragon Boat Race with my team mates. As the under dogs in the competition, we are basically guaranteed to win the competition (obviously there will be a few high and lows and maybe some tears). Breaking with Disney tradition – and unfortunately for us – the firm favourites, the Malaysian Team, seem to be all nice guys and aren’t a bunch of ass@#$%s that deserve to loose. This could be a major problem for us.
As I am sure that you will be following this event closely, let me tell you a bit more about the Musi Triboatton.
For a start, I will break down the less than catchy name the competition has been given. The Musi Triboatton is a Triple Boat Marat
hon along the Muri River. As the name suggests, the competition will be split into three different heats – white water rafting, canoeing and the dragon boat race – along 500km of the Musi River.
Like any good inspirational sports movie, we do have a plan to win the competition. Tomorrow we will be doing our first training on a Dragon Boat and we already have a montage fully prepared. In about two minutes of compiled footage, we will go from being amateurs to professional rowers. During the montage, my 20 cigarette a day smoking teammate will decide to quit smoking and completely change his lifestyle becoming an ultimate sportsman. I am also looking forwards to the part of the montage where I gain a six pack and I stop going bald.
While I don’t know how much of this will come true – apart from me gaining a six pack and getting a full head of hair – I shall keep you updated over the next week with how the competition is going! Expect plenty of sporting photos and pictures of me soaking wet.