It is bloody hot outside, so the air-conditioning in the mall should be a godsend, or it would be if it wasn’t so bloody cold that you could breed penguins and save the polar bears from extinction in here. Seriously, Indonesia is supposed to be a tropical country, it’s 32 degrees outside so why the hell is it so cold that ice is forming in the fountain?

There seems to be an inverse relationship between how low the temperature is and how rich you are in South East Asia; the more expensive the mall the colder the temperature. Look, I know you might have a secret Swiss bank account and love the Alps, but that is no reason to turn the entire population of the mall into icicles just because there is a Louis Vuitton shop on the premises.

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Seriously, half the world would kill to be living in a country where you can guarantee sunshine and the rain is warm enough to consider showering in. Do the world a massive favor and turn those air conditioners down, Jakarta’s already below water level, you don’t need to melt any more icebergs.

My fingers are actually turning blue, maybe I shouldn’t have been wearing t-shirts and shorts in the tropics, how stupid of me! I’ll get out my European winter gear then shall I and get chauffeured from one cold mall to the other.